When Home Becomes Too Small
Entertaining yourself while staying at home can be both fulfilling and relaxing. We all dream of having time to indulge in simple pleasures—reading books we’ve longed to finish, binge-watching our favorite shows, trying new recipes, or tackling DIY projects like building furniture, crafting decorations, or even starting a new hobby like painting or knitting. But after a few weeks of being cooped up at home, no matter how spacious and beautiful it may be, the charm can wear off. The walls begin to feel like they are closing in, and the initial excitement gives way to restlessness and a sense of claustrophobia.
I’ve noticed that those who spend a lot of time at home, particularly retirees, often keep the TV on all day. The constant noise, the vibrant colors, and glimpses of nature on screen provide them with a sense of companionship and entertainment. Kids are similar; many would consider having the TV on all day a kind of paradise. They become mesmerized by the fast-paced action, with their eyes glued to the screen, enchanted by the colorful characters and bright visuals.
I, however, don’t find TV particularly enjoyable, nor do I want my kids to rely on it for entertainment. So, most of the time, our TV stays off unless we’re using it for music.
The Night We Found Colour
But the other night, while my younger son and I were at home, I suggested we watch something together. His eyes lit up with delight, clearly thrilled that I, his mom who rarely suggests TV time, had brought it up. We eagerly flicked through the nine channels we have, and surprisingly, that was enough. We stumbled upon a captivating documentary about animal life. His excitement was contagious, and we snuggled up together, ready to explore the animal kingdom.
The documentary delved into the perception of colors in the animal world, and we laughed as we observed the vibrant displays of nature—like the mandrill with its striking red and blue face, or the bright colours of crabs, fishes, birds, and butterflies. We realized that what we see is vastly different from what animals perceive. For example, the mantis shrimp has up to sixteen types of photoreceptor cells in its eyes, compared to just three in humans. This gives them the ability to see a much wider spectrum of colours, including ultraviolet light, which is invisible to us.
Beauty, Seen and Unseen
As I watched the documentary, I couldn’t help but reflect on how beauty is perceived differently in the animal kingdom and in humans. In nature, male animals often exhibit striking beauty to attract females—vivid plumage, elaborate dances, and vibrant colours are part of the courtship ritual. This is driven by female preference, leading to the evolution of male traits that stand out in the mating process.
In human society, however, it’s often women who invest more in their appearance, engaging in various practices to enhance their looks—whether through makeup, fashion, or even surgeries. While men may also care about their appearance, the societal pressure on women to maintain an idealized image is far stronger. Women, more than men, are shaped by these cultural narratives that tie their worth to their physical appearance.
Consider how, at public events, women often wear revealing outfits, while men are typically fully dressed. This stark contrast highlights the persistent focus on women’s physical appearance. This raises a question: Is what we see in the glamour of showbiz truly about art and expression, or is it about commodification, reducing women to objects of desire?
This culture of objectification impacts young women the most. The unrealistic beauty standards perpetuated through media and popular culture become role models, setting life goals that are often unattainable. And as I write this, I feel discomfort—a part of me even wants to delete it, as though removing the words could somehow make them less true.
But I have to ask: As women, do we realize that we diminish our true worth when we reduce ourselves to mere physical attributes? Isn’t it clear that chasing after these fleeting beauty ideals is a race we can never win, no matter how much we invest in our appearance? Shouldn’t our goal be for our appearance to reflect self-care and the depth of our souls—showing the inner work that helps us grow, shine, and radiate? As Coco Chanel wisely said, “Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.”
By embodying our unique qualities, we stop blending into a sea of sameness and instead present ourselves as the irreplaceable individuals we truly are. I ask this as a woman to woman, because the responsibility for change doesn’t lie solely with men. If we are committed to true emancipation, we must show that our voices, beliefs, and opinions matter. We need to take responsibility for how we perceive ourselves and how we allow ourselves to be perceived.
Teaching Sons, and Ourselves
This is not about blaming men; it’s about empowering ourselves. It’s about reclaiming our agency, ensuring our worth is defined by more than superficial standards—by our intelligence, kindness, creativity, and resilience. Only then can we truly embody the principles of equality and self-respect. Only then can we meaningfully influence the complex cultural, social, and evolutionary forces that shape human behavior. Only then can we return to an evolutionary dynamic where both sexes are valued for their unique and indispensable qualities.
Ultimately, my inquiry revolves around how I can guide my sons to understand the importance of treating women with respect and equality. I want them to grow up with the emotional intelligence to navigate relationships with empathy, understanding, and responsibility.
While my younger son is still captivated by the natural world and animal dynamics, my older son, now ten, is starting to face the complexities of human relationships—particularly between men and women. I was taken aback when he received a message from a female classmate expressing her feelings for him, along with a selfie and a question asking whether they could still be friends despite her feelings. Though he’s always been a gentleman, this was a new type of social exchange for him. I saw it as an opportunity to offer guidance.
I reminded him that emotions can be fragile, especially when we don’t know how our feelings will be received. As he grows older, he might be less inclined to share such moments with me, so I wanted to help him understand the emotional complexity of relationships.
As a mother, I also felt a deep responsibility to encourage empathy not only for my son but for his female peers. Aren’t we all vulnerable when we express our emotions, regardless of age? In fact, the vulnerability we feel as we grow older may only deepen.
If bearing our skin is easier than bearing our souls, it highlights just how much more valuable our inner selves are than our outward appearance.
What Cannot Be Seen
If bearing our skin is easier than bearing our souls, it highlights just how much more valuable our inner selves are than our outward appearance. This simple truth is all we need to understand and remember—it’s the first step toward cultivating genuine self-love and self-respect. Nurturing our inner beauty and letting it transcend physical appearance requires more than just the limitations of human vision. We must strive to reveal our inner radiance and express it in ways that go beyond what the eye can see. Only then can we truly appreciate and celebrate the depth and complexity of the human spirit.
The power to shape our world begins within us. It starts with a decision to change ourselves, shift our perspectives, and embrace responsibility for our transformation. The commitment to positive change becomes the most potent way to create meaningful impact—not just within ourselves, but in the lives of those around us.
When we embrace our true worth, we begin to see it reflected in the world around us, creating a ripple effect that can inspire and uplift others. And in that collective shift, we find the beginnings of the equality and respect we so deeply seek.
As you step away from these lines, may you carry a question, a feeling, or simply a little more tenderness toward yourself..